33. Wenzel Friedrich, Rocking Chair
“Sir, we’re working on your office furni—”
“Lemme stop you right there. Cause I been thinking about a chair. I need a chair that says, ‘don’t mess with this sumbitch.’ A chair that says I mean bidness.”
“Well… yes, of course. An executive model, leather, wheels—”
“I WANT HORNS!”
“Um… horns, sir?”
“Horns!! At least fifteen, sixteen.”
“We’ll have to cull the herd, sir.”
“Well then CULL IT, goddamnit! I want the best goddamn chair in Texas! And I want a cheetah!”
“Um…”
“Cheetah skin!”
“Uh, we have jaguars in Texas…”
“Cheetah, jaguar, leopard, whatever! Git ‘er done!!”
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